From the Field: Stories from our Certified Trainers
Inspiring Comfort Certified Trainer Phillip Tyler comforting a grieving parent of a suicide loss.
As the holidays and a new year approach, we want to celebrate and uplift those of us who are working hard in the field to cultivate cultures of care, connection, and comfort every day.
In their own words, we present touching stories of comfort From the Field.
Phillip Tyler, Inspiring Comfort Certified Trainer
“This past October, I was fortunate enough to be a part of something unique, something inspiring, something needed, something that was, quite honestly, comforting. I recently was asked to help lead of a cohort of professionals going through the organizational training session. This cohort of professionals was unique because they all worked with youth; most were educational administrators, most were holders of advanced degrees with years of experience, yet here they were learning how to comfort more effectively. This is unique because so many of us, as adults, as professionals, as parents and partners, believe we can observe when someone is hurting, but we don’t always know what to do or say to the person. How is that? Why is that?
What made this so inspiring is the vulnerable sharing of stories by these professionals. After only one week together, they shared how the curriculum was making them think differently about comfort. They all understood these conversations were the ones that didn’t always happen but needed to, and they realized that the comforter needs comfort too. It would be another week when the cohort realized the simple act of giving comfort had a profound effect on them. I watched as this group of professionals rejected some of the rhetoric often directed at programs such as Inspiring Comfort; statements such as, “Schools should only focus on academics,” or, “People should find comfort in their own homes, not a place of work or schools.”
Comfort is needed, especially in our schools and our places of work. I work for a major Jesuit university, and I have personally witnessed the impact of isolation, disconnection, and loneliness in college-aged students. Returning to campus after learning remotely in the initial stages of the pandemic has created a level of stress, uncertainty, and lack of connection in our students, and this has manifested in issues of mental health and suicidal ideation. I have witnessed a group of students, surrounded by thousands of classmates, feel alone and wait some 30-90 days to get assistance when seeking support or service. The lengthy wait struck me for those identified as hurting. What if we were able to teach the skills of comfort to both the students and, as my cohorts experienced, the educators/administrators? What if we were able to move people from identifying when someone is in need or hurting to the action of comforting the individual? What if the students themselves were able to provide that comfort to one another and to others in a time of need?
Since completing my certification, I have used the skills of comfort to provide care for multiple families that have experienced tragic loss, a suicide of their child. I can attest to the healing benefits of comfort and how giving comfort provides comfort in return. I, too, lost a child to suicide, and it hurts; it still hurts four years later, it never stops hurting, but when I can comfort others, I too am helped. This is the power of comfort. This is what makes it unique. This is why it is needed. This is why Inspiring Comfort has inspired me to become a better comforter.
As for the cohort of professionals, they are now Certified Organizational Trainers, and more importantly, they are changed people. They now see and live the power of comfort at work and in their personal lives. I am fortunate to have experienced my training and the experience of the cohort. It will take them and all of us to change this hurting and lonely world, but I am confident that we can do it.
It is about taking some action, and that action is to comfort.”
— Phillip Tyler, Inspiring Comfort Certified Trainer
Kim Bepko, Inspiring Comfort Certified Trainer
Inspiring Comfort Certified Trainer Kim Bepko booked her first Certified Organizational Trainer from New Britain School District this month! The Certified Organizational Trainer program trains members of organizations to cultivate a culture of care within their workplace for the long-term.
Inspiring Comfort Certified Trainer Kim Bepko and soon-to-be Certified Organizational Trainer Amy Gagne.
“Amy Gagne and I are high school friends that have recently reconnected after my FB post about my work at Inspiring Comfort. It had been over 26 years since we had seen each other; however, Amy is one of those beautiful, authentic friends that once we sat down to visit, it felt like just yesterday when we started to catch up!
Amy has spent the last 29 years working as a 3rd grade teacher in the New Britain School District. She has always been one of the kindest, most empathetic, and loving friends that I have had, so it was no surprise to me that after sharing a bit about my story and the mission of Inspiring Comfort, it did not take but a second for Amy to say, "What can I do to get involved; how can I be a part of this?" I knew immediately that the role of COT would be perfect for her!
I am beyond excited to begin this journey together with Amy. She is going to be amazing!”
— Kim Bepko, Inspiring Comfort Certified Trainer
Jill Bornstein, Inspiring Comfort Co-Founder and Advisor
“I love the strength but simplicity of how comfort can have a big impact on others.”
Inspiring Comfort Co-Founder and Advisor Jill Bornstein facilitated two programs for Proaction: Resilient Children & Families this November.
This is what a participant said when Jill Bornstein, Co-Founder and Advisor at Inspiring Comfort, led two adult workshops on “Cultivating Human Care and Connection Through Comfort” at Pro Action Resilient Children & Families Community Based Services this November.
In the sessions, participants were able to dive deeper into their unique human behavior skills using Inspiring Comfort’s Personal Comfort Assessment and Action Plan.
The Empathy/Action Gap is a phenomenon where 75% of people feel like they can recognize when someone is struggling, but only 15% feel equipped to know what to say and do to support them. For our hurting world to mend, we must fill this gap.
Jill’s program made astonishing progress at closing this gap. “100% of the participants answered in a post-session survey that they felt more equipped in what to say and do when someone needs comfort,” says Jill, on the impact of the program.
From 15% to 100%, learning comfort, the skill of care, is what it takes.