My Signature Hashtag #RewirewithComfort
If humans are born with the innate ability to give comfort and connect with others why don’t we do more of it? Imagine seeing a little boy or girl looking sad - what type of response would you have? Now imagine seeing a sad or lonely adult – would your response be the same? Would you know how to comfort or connect with them?
As we move from early childhood through adulthood our innate ability to give comfort gets buried inside ourselves due to something called the Awkward Zone™. Fear, rejection, wanting to be perfect in words & actions, group think, priorities, lack of awareness or for that matter just plain old lack of knowing how all contribute to this innate ability becoming dormant inside us. Giving comfort actually becomes UNcomfortABLE so you become UNABLE to do it!
Now top off that UNcomfortABLE feeling with how society’s use of technology and social media has evolved in the last 10 years and one could argue giving real comfort is becoming a lost art. How many times have you clicked the sad emoji on social media but then not ever followed up with that person one on one to really see what’s going on? Social media and how we use it today is changing how humans communicate and puts up an artificial wall between two people that fundamentally changes how humans relate. Technology is rewiring the human response and with it the ability to give comfort to others. We need to take back the skill of comfort by changing how we respond to each other.
How can you rewire your response? You need to regain your use of the 9 C’s. Compassion, courage, creativity, communication, caring, confidence, connection, commitment and collaboration as they relate to interacting with other humans. It has become to easy to be divided and angered because we don’t see a real person on the other end of the screen so why would you need to use your C’s. Our dormant ability needs to be woken up and our brains rewired by practicing the skill of giving comfort. When we speak and act we need to see a real person – a friend, a neighbor, a coworker, a classmate. The more you practice giving comfort, the easier it becomes. Giving comfort is more than a random act of kindness because the randomness doesn’t always allow you to see the person in need of comfort. To give comfort that rewires your brain it requires an intentional action for a specific person.
So, if human comfort and connection is the goal, start your rewire today by pausing to identify someone in your life who is hurting, lonely or just having a down day. Think about the type of message they would like to hear from you. Then, reach out and personally connect with them. Your presence may just be what they need to get them through the day. And, you in turn will have started your rewiring process so we can regain the skill of true human comfort and connection.
Jill Bornstein is the Co-Founder and CFO of Inspiring Comfort. To learn more about comfort, connection and programs available to learn the skill of comfort to rewire visit www.inspiringcomfort.com